​​But I thought I could improve on the model so I've created the event I always wanted to attend.

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I hope the following Frequently Asked Questions are helpful to you. If your Q isn't addressed below, message me on MeetUp.com.

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Look for upcoming Speed-DATING events, register, or simply learn more via the "MeetUp Group" link above (top, right-hand corner of the screen).

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​​​​​​I’m New to Dating…  Or, alternatively, I’ve Tried Everything...  

Why Should I Try Speed-DATING -- How Will This Be Different?

Has it “been a minute” since you were in the dating pool? How do you even start?
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Maybe you’ve been MeetingUp all over town—hiking, game nights, pub crawls—secretly hoping to find someone along the way.  How’s that workin’ for ‘ya?

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Perhaps you’re immersed in swipe culture—staring at screens and "winking" at pix in your PJs!  Online dating was a boon initially, but it’s become "gamified," bot-infested, AI-altered, and finally “enshittified”—a term coined in 2023 that describes the degradation of user experience on dating apps for profit.

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If you're lucky, work connects you with lots of people, but that’s not true for many gig workers, entrepreneurs, work-from-homers, empty nesters, retirees, and other mid-lifers.

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And, please say you haven’t been hangin’ in bars—the reported likelihood of walking out with a relationship is <10%.

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Meeting people can be tough. And, let’s face it, asking for a date can be nerve-wracking whether online or, say, in line at a store.

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The good news is 35-45% of PDX region mid-lifers are single and, after the pandemic years, folks of all ages are looking for less FaceTime and more face-to-face encounters.  Luckily, there are better options than “doomswiping” or heartless hookups.  What's more, “the ask” can be made easier!

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IT’S TIME TO APPROACH DATING DIFFERENTLY!  

​In an era of online-everything, Speed-DATING is an excellent vehicle for meeting PEOPLE, not profiles!

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​What is Speed-DATING exactly?

Speed-DATING is a planned event involving several brief “mini-dates” in which

attendees switch partners every few minutes as a timer sounds.  It offers a fun

way to meet more potential matches in one night than most meet in a month of

traditional dating.

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And, unlike MeetUp.com events or community activities focused on a hobby, business networking, leisure activities, or just hanging out, Speed-DATERS share the same explicit goal -- rather than leave meeting to chance, they gather together to proactively get to know several prospects at once.

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What's the History of Speed-DATING?​​

Would-be lovers have been creatively and proactively approaching dating for eons.

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In the 1800s, young single women held open houses on Jan. 1 inviting eligible bachelors -- friends and strangers alike -- to stop by for a brief visit.

 

Etiquette called for refreshments to be provided at New Years Calling events -- breads, cakes, fruits, tea and coffee were common, but no intoxicating drinks.  

 

Gentlemen were encouraged to visit between 10AM and 9PM and to present ladies with a calling card. Each visit was not to exceed 10 or 15 minutes, which sounds rather like an annual communitywide speed-DATING event.

What we now know as Speed-DATING was invented by Yaacov Deyo, a Rabbi eager to serve his community in California.  He and some friends came up with the idea by updating a traditional Jewish singles’ event.  This led him to a Beverly Hills Peet’s coffee shop in ‘98, twirling his Jewish gragger (noisemaker) 

signaling daters to switch partners every 10 minutes.

There was an initial attempt to trademark the word SpeedDating and to file a patent,

but the idea caught on like wildfire among both Jews and Gentiles.  Apparently, singles

were table-hopping around the globe within a year.  The Rabbi conceded it’d be good karma to give the idea to the world, saying, “God willing, it would produce lots of marriages and babies.”

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What Makes This Event Special?​​

Unlike any other event I’ve seen offered in the PDX region, this event is specifically for:

• Mid-life singles
  There are few events for those in their 40s or 50s and, personally, I haven’t seen any for those in their 60s

• In or near the PDX suburbs
  Frequently these events are hosted downtown Portland

• …with a ton of extras “baked in” that I’ve never seen elsewhere.

 

You’ll have the opportunity to enjoy direct, one-on-one chats and time to mingle, all without the pressure of sustaining lengthy conversations.

 

This event is designed to:

• Make you feel welcome, comfortable, and appreciated;

• Help you find common ground, and foster engagement right away; and

• Elevate the dating experience.

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How Can This Event Make Dating Easier for Me?​​

Ladies and gents will each have a chance to gather as a group—to settle in and get comfortable.  You’ll get a clear explanation of the process.

 

When the event starts, we’ll kick it off with a couple easy, effective ice breakers that have proven to get folks warmed up and engaged quickly. Within minutes you’ll find common ground, and begin to get to know others around the room.

 

During your “mini-dates,” you’ll also have optional conversation starters at your fingertips that are scientifically proven to build emotional connection, helping you keep the conversation going until the buzzer rings.

 

If and as you find yourself enjoying a conversation with someone, that’s enough to merit a second look! The next step is to see about getting together again for coffee or drinks—you might find a place to meet up after the event is over, or schedule your own get together at another time.  This event gives you several opportunities -- along with handy tools -- to make “the ask” easier.

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The Lowdown for the Ladies
I don't recall attending an event where there weren't more women than men, & it wasn’t always handled well. I’m embracing it by going out of my way to create a warm, cozy, inviting, high-class vibe for everyone, but especially for you ladies.

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Tim & I will prime the fellas to bring their A-Game. And, the evening of, when you're not talking up the guys you can escape to the sanctuary of an exclusive Ladies' Lounge out of sight of the gentlemen & other diners.

 

And what do the men get?  A chance to talk with several lovely ladies eager to meet them!

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Tell Me About the Ladies' Lounge​

I've worked with the venue to create an exclusive and cozy spot out of sight of the gentlemen and other diners where ladies can snag a seat on a comfy couch, put their feet up, or primp at a vanity station when they aren't busy chatting up the guys. The space is imbued with an elegant, alluring vibe with women's comforts top of mind -- perfect for sipping a drink from the bar, visiting with other ladies, or quietly capturing some notes on the fellas already met.

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​Tell Me About the Men-In-Suits Raffle​

For the fellas, I'm raffling off a complimentary drink.  Those who show up sporting a blazer and / or tie are eligible.  Come, offer the ladies some classy eye candy and you'll have a chance to win a drink on me!

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What If I Find Someone I’m Interested In?​

​Awesome—That’s what it’s all about!  You may, in fact, well find more than one person you’d like to talk with again. 

 

In each case, you are encouraged to:

• Share contact info. with those who intrigue you during your “mini-dates” or during intermission
  You’ll have handy “Courting Cards” to jot your contact info. on to make asking for a date easy!

• Mix and mingle during the intermission break
  If someone caught your attention, it’s a-okay to approach them!

• Chat with attendees on MeetUp afterward
  Whether you're shy about asking in-person, or simply miss the chance during the event, you can always send a message later!

 

At this event, you're encouraged to show interest at your own pace and, unlike other speed-DATING services that make you enter personal info. online and then wait, here you are in control.

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I’m Still Feeling Nervous…​​

Most admit to being nervous leading up to their first event, but you’re not alone. Everyone there will be single, middle aged, looking for love and, just like you… afraid of rejection!

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Speed-DATING overcomes so many common issues:

• Being stuck all evening with someone you're either not attracted to, or who hijacks the conversation;

• Feeling invisible at a large social event;​

• Hesitating to approach others who seem to have formed their own clique; 

• Not approaching a stranger for fear of disturbing them--who's to say they're even single, let alone interested?

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Meeting other singles doesn’t need to be a high-stakes affair.

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If you enjoy visiting with someone and would like to talk with them again, that’s enough! Simply suggest finding a time for coffee or drinks or a hike later on; then you can see if there’s a spark beneath the interest, and substance behind that spark.  That’s it—you’re just looking for peeps you’d enjoy talking with again.  =)

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Tell Me More About the Offer from the Dating Coach

I’ve partnered with Tim Bray, a dating coach based in Texas working with men and women across the country. Tim helps folks become fluent in the “Art of Connection” so they can lead extraordinary lives with exceptional partners.

 

5 reasons I like Tim’s approach:

1. He is gentle yet direct, and genuinely kind.

2. He really gets how intimidating dating can be, and how to make it easier.

3. Tim recognizes the Law of Attraction and the importance of an abundance mindset steeped in gratitude and beauty–vital to a happy dating experience!

4. He walks his talk–learning and growing alongside clients as he helps them build the self-awareness it takes to see beautiful people everywhere, and develop the confidence to make that approach in a generous and uniquely authentic way.

5. He's actively growing his business, and in so doing, you'll see more in the way of free online workshops offered than you'll feel hard-sell pressure tactics.

 

Tim’s specialty is helping big-hearted men approach women without feeling like a creep. And, as a man, he offers women a window into the psyche of today’s dating males, helping ladies attract quality men. He can help both identify dating challenges and offer suggestions to overcome them—no Q’s off limits!

 

Tim’s Free Offer:

• A 30-minute, one-on-one video call to identify any dating hurdles.

• Tips to help you relax and have fun.

• A “Surge of Calm Confidence” recording on event day to help you prep and get the most out of the event.

Learn more about Tim and his services at www.TheArtOfConnection.Coach.

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What’s the Itinerary for the Event?

6PM          The 1st part of the evening is designed in such a way that ladies and gents each have a chance to get settled and comfortable.  You'll get a rundown of the evening, and have time to order food or a drink from the bar if you wish.

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6.30–6.45   Warm Up Ice Breakers Proven to Engage Quickly

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6.45–7.45   1st Round of Mini-Dates (5-10 minutes each, depending on turnout)

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7.45–7.55   Intermission Break, including optional Mix & Mingle Activity

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8.00–8.50   2nd Round of Mini-Dates

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9PM           Closing Time

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What Should I Wear?​​

My advice: Dress to Impress! For sure, wear what makes you feel comfortable and confident, and don’t hesitate to showcase your unique style, but one sure way to put your best foot forward is to dress sharp.

 

If you opt for casual, make it classy.  

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Gents who sport a blazer and / or tie are eligible for the Men-In-Suits complimentary drink raffle.

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Is There a Cost?

Yes, the Speed-DATING events cost $35 per person*.  I've listed this cost at the beginning and the end of the MeetUp event description.  You may also see $0 on the MeetUp event page.  The reason is that event organizers have the option of listing a price on MeetUp, but if they do they're required to that site's 

payment system.  I've found EventBrite's registration and payment system to be more robust so I've done a lil' dance to be able to utilize the best of both systems.  You'll find many MeetUp organizers doing something similar.

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*$35 is consistent with (or lower than!) what national companies are charging for events in our area. 

Most of the rest of the Finding Friends MeetUp group's other events are free -- you're encouraged to check them out as well!

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Do I Need a Ticket to Attend?​​

Registration and payment for this event is handled at EventBrite.com.  Once you've paid and reserved your seat, EventBrite will offer you a ticket to download or print.  Don't worry about presenting a ticket on the day of -- you'll already be on the registration list!

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Can I (or a Buddy) Pay for a Ticket at the Door?​​

I encourage you to share the event with single friends you know who'd enjoy it.  However, all tickets are sold in advance online via EventBrite in order to help facilitate the best possible event for all.

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What if My Plans Change? What if an Event is Cancelled?​​

Of course, full refunds will be issued if an event is cancelled.

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Your tickets are transferable.  If you can’t attend, you're encouraged to transfer your ticket to another mid-life single you know. 

 

Guys must send another guy in their place; ladies may sub a guy or a gal.
 

Please message me via MeetUp either way to coordinate the details.

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Who’ll Be There?

This event is targeted to mid-life singles in the PDX metro. area who are serious about finding their best friend and life partner. It focuses on meeting new people and enjoying conversation, with the potential of forging new relationships.

 

To be clear, it’s the intent that attendees are:

• Single and unattached individuals looking for a partner of the opposite sex;

• 40- to 60-some years old (those a couple years outside the age range are welcome); and 

• Ready and looking for a serious, committed relationship

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NOTE!  It’s up to attendees to self-identify on each of the above points. 

 

When it comes to age and orientation, please respect the mid-life focus, and appreciate that this particular event is for women-seeking-men and men-seeking-women.

 

Like other Speed-DATING events, there’s no vetting or background checks conducted.

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Safety 1st:  Again, registrants are not vetted -- act responsibly and date mindfully.  You can find a wealth of safety tips from DatingAdvice.com here.

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All are advised to share only what they are comfortable with in each instance.  You have no obligation to meet with or share personal or contact info. with someone you don’t wish to.  When you do share information, you might give just your first name, or offer to communicate by email vs. phone, etc.

 

Again, this event focuses on meeting new people and enjoying conversation, with the potential of forging new relationships—No youngins, no soliciting, and no crude or disrespectful behavior.

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How Many People Will There Be?​​

Every event is different, but I'm aiming for 20+ people at this event. I anticipate more women than men, but will keep an eye on the mix as registrations roll in.

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If you have further Qs, message me on MeetUp.com.

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Tell Me More About the Venue​​

The setting is a stylish venue in historic Oregon City.  The Hive is a collection of eateries with free parking and accessible facilities.

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Our event will be in the basement "Hardware Store"–once the site of a local tool and supply shop, it has been reimagined into a speakeasy style bar.  They have a great space for us tucked away from most diners.

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This is a beautiful, swanky venue I’m confident you’ll enjoy!  Learn more and see the Hardware Store’s "Provisions and Libations" menus here.

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Is the Venue Accessible?​​

The Hive has an elevator and spacious restrooms with generous turn radius.

 

If you have specific accessibility needs, please contact me -- I’ll do what I can to assist you in making necessary arrangements.